Protecting Arthur
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: There was so much pain and it was blinding but he had to help Arthur... It was his destiny to help Arthur. This is my version of what was going on in Merlin's head when he was posioned. Spoilers for 1:4


**Title: Protecting Arthur**

**Summary: This is my version of what might have been going on inside Merlin's head during episode 1:4.**

**Author's Note: I just really felt the need to write this story so here it is. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Merlin... _But we can all dream. And we have fanfiction!**

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He brought the goblet of wine to his lips with that air of casual confidence that he always carried with him. Yes, he was worried about what was going to happen when he drank the wine but he knew that what he was about to do was necessary. He couldn't just make accusations against people and then not have evidence to back them up – also he'd be as good as dead if he were seen to be making things up.

He took a long drink and then took the goblet away from his lips. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened and he felt his heart sink.

"It's fine…" he said slowly, looking around uselessly. There was a tense hush in the hall as everyone waited to see what would happen next.

"He's all yours," Uther said dismissively but Merlin was only partly aware of that. He brought his hand to his throat when he felt a strange burning sensation and his airway tightening. He couldn't breathe properly and he choked. Then everything went blurry and his knees gave way beneath him. He didn't feel himself hit the ground or hear the cries of alarm coming from the people watching.

Next thing he knew was intense heat everywhere. It was invading every atom of his existence and it was making him dizzy. He couldn't even open his eyes. He couldn't hear anything other than constant buzzing. Everything was a mess of tangled thoughts and feelings and immense pain.

He couldn't breathe and the lack of oxygen was making his head spin violently. He felt his very blood burning with poison. Everything was on fire around him and he squirmed against the pain. There were vast periods of dull pain and everything went into nothingness. He felt feverish and he kept feeling sharp shocks if pain with the heat of fire and the sharpness of ice rocketing through his veins.

"Arthur could be walking into a trap…" a familiar voice said gravely. He didn't know who had said it but he recognised the name and the prospect of him in danger made his heart pound… He should be protecting Arthur not being the reason he was in danger. It was his _destiny_to protect Arthur.

"Arthur," Merlin tried to shout but the only sound that came from his mouth was a feeble whisper. He _had_to protect Arthur. He couldn't let him die… He had to do something…

"Arthur… It's a trap…" he muttered softly in some desperate hope that he could save the King's son. Maybe he would be listening…? Everything had become so confused and blurry in his head and he couldn't figure out what was his imagination and what was real. He found himself running through possible incantations and spells that could possibly be of some use of _only_he could wake up… He tried urgently to open his eyes but all that happened was the incredible sting twisting in his stomach and the world seemed like the burning fires of hell.

"Merlin, you _must_fight it..." came a voice from the darkness. He knew that. He _knew_he had to keep fighting this but it was hard... He felt like he was clutching hopelessly to a small strand of life. Arthur needed him though. He had to do something...

Suddenly he could see glimpses of what Arthur was seeing… Or not seeing… Why was he there? It's too dangerous… too dark. Arthur wouldn't be able to do anything without seeing where he was going. Too dark… Too dark… He needed to light up the way… He had to… Magic… he had to help Arthur with Magic… He could guide him out of danger with Magic… Go _faster… Faster…_

Merlin could barely breathe anymore and he felt things slipping away from him. All that mattered was getting Arthur out of danger. Move… _Climb! Climb!_ He wasn't even sure if Arthur could hear him but he could see the light… He had the flower… He had the cure but he needed to get out…

Then Arthur was safe… He was out of immediate danger… That was all that mattered.

The world was crashing down and he couldn't breathe… The heat was unbearable and then it would suddenly give way to a terrible cold… An empty cold that contained nothing but the desperate sound of his own breathing.

Something he felt something in his mouth and it trickled down his throat… He swallowed feebly glad for any moisture…

Then it all went quiet… Then the pain was gone…

Shock. Breathing. Oxygen! Awareness. Light. Sound. Feeling. Aching. Weariness. Vision… Gwen… Gaius. He was alive. He couldn't remember much and he was aching and tired but he was alive… He felt like he could laugh… And everything was going to be alright…


End file.
